The Girl With No Reflection

*Author's Note: The main character's name in the story (Kyoko) means "Mirror" in Japanese. Pretty ironic huh?? Just something to ponder on... ;) The story isn't finished yet, so don't be confused when you get to the end. I think that I should turn this into a novel?! Any ideas??*

October 7th 1892, the Orphanage
Dear Journal, this has been one of the hardest days in the orphanage. Elvina went missing today; she had been planning to escape. I told her numerous times that it would be useless. With no parents, no money, nothing to keep her safe and warm in this bitter fall, she would surely perish. Her fear abounded; I could see it in her eyes. She wasn’t the type of girl to disobey rules. But I could tell that she had reached her breaking point. Each and every day she spoke of the outside world. Of what she thought it would look like. She was only an infant when she was dropped at the doorstep of the orphanage. Elvina was 3 years older than me. My widowed father had brought me here when I was4 years of age. I never really knew my father. My mother died while giving birth. From what my father said about her I could tell he didn’t know her either. Younger children would cry about losing their mothers and fathers. I felt indifferent, for I could not feel their pain. I didn’t know how to communicate with the other children. I never have, and I never will.
Now that Elvina is gone, I know I can’t rat on her. I know if anyone found her, something bad will happen. I don’t want to think about it, but if it’s as bad as professor says it is. I know that I shall never have another friend in the world. Elvina...where are you?
After Elvina went missing, professor asked all of the older children where she went. Nobody knew of course, but professor didn’t ever think to ask me. It wouldn’t really matter, I don’t know for sure either, but all I know is that Elvina isn’t missing. She is gone, gone forever from the lives of the orphans, and my own life; my only friend in the world, never to be heard of again. It’s like she’s dead, I’ve never felt this way before. It’s like theirs a hole in my heart. A piece of me missing, is this how it feels to lose someone dear to you?
-Kyoko

October 10th 1892, the Orphanage

Dear Journal, I have not been able to write to you for the past few days. I need to write this swiftly, for the professor is after me. The children are not supposed to have journals. Professor says that all writing is bad. She says our imaginations will expand so much that they will explode. I can imagine that that isn’t a good thing. I believe that my imagination is a good thing. Of course how would I know? I had only ever used it in dire situations. Like when professor was beating one of the younger children, for sneaking out of the chambers after everyone had already fallen asleep. I had to imagine that I couldn’t see it happening, that nothing ever occurred. Everything was fine at that moment, but the hours passed, and the bruises on Emily’s arms and face got bigger, blacker, and more painful to look at.
Now, when I need it the most, my imagination has abandoned me. I can no longer think that everything will be okay. That everything will go back to normality. Even if Elvina was to come back, or be found; she would be put to death. I know this now, that I couldn’t escape the misery of loss… the misery of loneliness. Here comes professor, I shall speak to you once again in the morning. Till then,
-Kyoko
October 11th 1892, the Orphanage
Dear Journal, there has been a new order of uniforms today. The oldest children must be tattooed with their identification numbers today as well. Each child has a different identification number. Based on arrival date, each child must be tattooed a number in order from 1-76. (There are 76 children in the orphanage.) Yesterday there were only 75 children in the orphanage. Today, a new child, I’m guessing my age, was dropped off. His hesitation was small, to walk from his side of the street where his family lived, to our side of the street where the orphanage was. While getting tattooed, he didn’t even wince. I could tell that he was used to that kind of pain. Scars and bruises covered his legs and arms, more covered his back. They looked like lash marks; like he was whipped, repeatedly throughout the years. While looking in the mirrors at him as his identification number was drilled into the back of his neck, I could see that some of his scars were recent. Some of them still bled, some were black and blue. But what was the weirdest, was that I saw him In front of me in the mirror, but I couldn’t see myself. I moved my arms up and down, waiting to see that maybe I was just eclipsed by him in the reflection. But no, my heart skipped so many beats I thought for sure I was dead, I real zed that my life was not going to get any better, when the whole orphanage realized that I had no reflection. I cannot explain this feeling, the loss of a family and a best friend is enough. But the loss of your reflection is just too much. My life is turning out to be a nightmare. Like something out of a horror story; but in real life, my real life.
-Kyoko

October 12th 1892
Dear Journal, I don’t understand how I could have no reflection at all. For all of the years that I have been in the orphanage, I have seen my reflection in mirrors and pieces of silverware. Why can I not see my reflection now? For my whole life I seem to have been climbing up an endlessly high mountain of fears and misfortunes. When will it end?


October 13th 1892
Dear Journal, Yesterday I spoke with the new boy in the orphanage. His name is Fuyuki, and his parents were killed mysteriously a few weeks ago. He told me that he didn’t really care that his parents were gone, but I could see in his eyes that he missed them. He wanted to sound like he was tough, that nothing could ever hurt him, but I could feel his pain. I missed Elvina just as he missed his parents. I didn’t want anyone to know that I missed her, because they might suspect that I knew where she was. I assumed the same for Fuyuki; not a soul knew how his parents died, nor if they were really dead or not. They found no trace of them from what Fuyuki described to me.
I could see that Fuyuki and I were alike, so I made a decision. Tonight, I am escaping the orphanage with Fuyuki. This Friday night professor is going to meet her twin sister for tea. Her sister travels a lot, so this Friday is the only night of the month that professor can see her. I will go when everyone else is asleep, so that I don’t have to worry about the risk of someone seeing me, and telling professor tomorrow.